The Pefect Space

Traveled to Lehigh University yesterday with my just eighteen year old son to see a favorite band of ours, The Avett Brothers. The I-Pod was cleaned and refreshed for the ride. The weather was bright and sunny. The mood was set for that "you're off to college in a week" bonding. As we headed down the highway my head swirled with great expectations. I set the cruise, settled in, and looked over to my passenger for engagement. There he sat, half asleep, receiving text after text from his social network.

I swallowed my expectations and relaxed. Even when he said let's have it quiet for awhile and not listen to the i-pod right now, I smiled and said "sure." He sleepily texted. I watched the road rush under us. Wonderful memories of his life raced through my mind. Wishes for his future floated in. A quiet peace set upon the car that was comforting. The space began.

An hour or so into the trip the I-pod was shuffled ( first shuffled five; I Love My Label - Nick Lowe, Nineteen -Old 97s, Up The Junction-Squeeze, Accidents Will Happen - Elvis Costello, Pulled Up -Talking Heads). Songs were song. Talk was cheap. Worries were light. The space was good.

Our directions were dead on, and we pulled into the theater's parking garage entrance right next to the band's bus. As the Avett nation trickled into the site our excitement began. It was a beautiful mix of young and old hippies, young and old hipsters, and young parents with young kids and old parents with old kids. We fit right into that space.

We browsed the merch table, and picked out shirts. I got a couple of call outs for my "Q" shirt. There was time to grab a drink before we headed into the sold out theater. We sat way up in the center of the balcony. The view of the stage was beautiful. We waited the last few minutes sharing "the" song we wanted to hear from the brothers. From the first twang of the banjo, plunk of the stand up bass, and blending of the harmonies, we were lost in space.

Our smiles were non stop as we stomped our feet, clapped our hands and sang along with song after song. And as I took a breath between songs I thought about the perfection of sharing this moment with my soon to be away at college son. Then the band launched into his wish song; "The Perfect Space."

The Perfect Space, by the Avett Bros.

I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was.
I wanna have friends that will let me be
all alone when being alone is all that I need.
I wanna fit in to the perfect space,
feel natural and safe in a volatile place.
And I wanna grow old without the pain,
give my body back to the earth and not complain.
Will you understand when I am too old of a man?
And will you forget when we have paid our debt
who did we borrow from?

Okay part two now clear the house.
The party’s over take the shouting and the people,
get out.
I have some business and a promise that I have to hold to.
I do not care what you assume or what the people told you.
Will you understand, when I am too old of a man?
Will you forget when we have paid our debts,
who did we borrow from, who did borrow from?

I wanna have pride like my mother has,
And not like the kind in the bible that turns you bad.
And I wanna have friends that I can trust,
that love me for the man I’ve become and not the man that I was.

Kids These Days

Hello

I don't remember connecting musically with my elders when I was young. My mother had, and still has, a love a music, but we never shared the same music. I do have to say I pilfered some very cool LPs from my older (ten plus years) siblings; CCR on that heavy gauge vinyl, early Billy Joel, Love, CSN, etc. I never had shared musical experiences with them though. It has been a different story with my own children,

I have been broadening their musical horizons since they could hear. I am sure growing up with a music snob has not been easy for them. The other day my eight year old was in the backseat of the car with her new friend explaining that her favourite band was Fountains of Wayne. Her friend seemed perplexed, and asked "Don't you know who Michael Jackson is?" Then my daughter asked me "Dad is he one of the ones our family doesn't like?" I started to worry I was raising another music snob. I went PC and told her MJ was ok, but that I just didn't listen much to his music. Then the little girl asked my daughter about the Beatles, and I had to defend why they weren't the bees knees in our family.

Not to worry though, my children haven't turned into little music snobs like me. They turn me on to the new sounds kids listen to these days. Like that new TV show craze "Glee," and the wonderful new songs they have introduced to my children; "Don't Stop Believing," "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and some Barbara Streisand song I don't even want to think about. I have so enjoyed remembering why I hated these songs the first time round. My children just love this. They love to play the game of let's find the old songs that drive dad crazy and load up our i-pods. Songs like "Eye of the Tiger" and "We are the Champions." So far I have succeeded in hiding the band Boston from them.

Then there is this phenomena of Broadway taking pop collections and making shows out of them. They've done it with Billy Joel, Queen, and now even Green Day. But I will never forgive them for making me re-live all those Abba hits on my daughter's musical theater heavy play list.

There is a huge upside though of my my musical influence on my children. Yeah they like a lotta crap, but they all thoroughly enjoy music in their lives and are passionate about what they like and don't like. They have wide and varied tastes, and have the smarts not to just like what commercial radio, or their dad, says they should. Despite my efforts, or maybe because of, they have developed their own musical styles. Luckily that includes great new music I can experience with them, like Rhett Miller, Dar Williams, and yes Fountains of Wayne. Now if I can just get them to let me listen to Jonathan Richman when they are in the car. "Ice cream man, comin' down the street......."